My plan today was to get up, get going, and get a bunch of things done around the house. While I am going to get something done at some point, finding motivation through-out this time has been a huge challenge. Lately, it seems to me like the world is hard to keep up with, even more so during a global pandemic. Being at home with your wheels spinning, not knowing what your next steps are, with only social media to fill your social cup; can leave you reeling. Especially because you really can’t do to much right now. Staying home for this extended amount of time can leave you questioning everything about your path. Every one (including myself) is starting new hobbies, online businesses, and getting even more fit than they were in the first place. How in the world do you keep up?
Well, the answer is incredibly simple. You don’t.
I want to firmly remind you, that social media is not always as it seems. In fact, what you see scrolling on social media is what people allow you to see. I know you have definitely heard this, but it is incredibly true. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with doing that (I’ve most definitely done/do it), but I want you to remember you are human. You don’t have to run the rat race of perfectionism. This is a reminder for the people that feel like what they have to offer is not good enough, that you are plenty good enough. Just because, you or your life looks different than what someone else is doing, doesn’t mean you are any less deserving of happiness and self-acceptance. A reminder so that at the end of the hardest day you’ve had of the week, you remember you are whole. Now, I know that people (usually) aren’t going to air out their dirty laundry or insecurities on social media (you probably shouldn’t), but I am here to remind you that comparing yourself to everyone else’s censored and condensed versions of themselves is pointless, and harmful to one’s own self-image. Even comparing to your own old self.
Personally, I can attest.
I used to look at my old photo’s, and accomplishments and just think to myself, ” What has happened to you?”, “Where did this girl go?”. Not only was I bashing myself on a regular basis, but the people around me were dropping like flies because my adorable, light-hearted, fun-loving persona was cracking in a big way. I was overwhelmed, tired, insecure, depressed, and hurting. My family has had a long history of mental illness, and my life of running full speed from my own personal struggles was catching up to me. I have had some serious struggles in my twenties trying to portray myself as a well put-together, super fun, emotionally stable, and ambitious person. While I have been ALL of those things at one time or another, I’m not all the time. I always just wanted to feel love from others, without having that love for my own self. Life can reallyyyyyy beat you up, and send you on a wild ride you never saw coming. During that wild nauseating ride, It is not your job to please everyone around you. I promise, just by starting to give yourself a little grace, can inspire others to do the same thing.
Frankly, I don’t want to pretend to be the most perfect version of myself that I can be anymore for the comfort of other people. Also, no one was making me do that, but myself. I don’t want to continue to keep the waters calm, and be on my best behavior so no one is rubbed the wrong way. Am I going to go around spilling my emotional guts to everyone? Nah, not into that (anymore, thankfully).
What I decided to do is to become my own friend. I started writing, meditating, dancing, and finding myself spiritually. Figuring out what I actually want and need to do for myself, and my family. Finding my worth without needing any reassurance from other people (even friends and partners). Knowing that the only reassurance that I needed is from God(however that looks for you), and myself. It was time to give myself the grace I gave so many other people in my life. I began to forgive myself for mistakes I had made in life, and speaking more kindly to myself, instead of saying the first self-deprecating thing that comes to mind. At the end of the day we are here for a very short amount time. I hope if you find yourself lost in a sea of worry, that you take the time that you need for yourself to find the shallow water. However self-care may look for you.
The journey of self-discovery is exactly that. It is a journey. Life’s hopefully long road is gonna be bumpy, and it’s probably not going to look even remotely close to what you’ve got planned. However, I can promise you it will be breathtaking and beautiful. Allow yourself to change and grow through this time, because it is of utmost importance for your future self.
Take a bath, eat a pizza, or go run a 5K I don’t care. Just, do something for you today will you?
Happy Tuesday, pretty people.
Drop some thoughts, and a pic of what your sippin on this morning below.